A Roller-Coaster Month

You know the saying "Stop the world, I want to get off!"... just like a scary roller coaster ride this month has been such a series of highs and lows that I feel a bit nauseous.
1. Barry's plant is closing (when? No one knows.) Impending unemployment.
2. Barry is hired back at the base. (start date? No one knows.) Limbo - my most unfavorite state of being!
3. The weather warms, the days are longer.
4. Sudden cold snaps - the house is cold but I don't want to turn the heat back on.
5. Tori seems to have her head on straight academically - making a real effort but struggles with one class.
6. Tori does not have her head on straight emotionally - first love causing lots of rule breaking and friction.
7. The cat had four kittens last Monday -- so cute -- but will be sad when they have to leave.
8. Francesca is loving her afterschool program of once-a-week kick-ball.
9. Francesca was sick for an entire week. High temp, throwing up, dehydration, elevated heart rate, and finally diagnosed with atypical pneumonia. A little scary -- but a round of antibiotics and she was good as new!
10. I'm finally doing more Real Estate work again. The market is still not the greatest - but the summer is the busier time -- I'm so going to make hay while the sun shines.

So as you can see -- it's a mixed bag, but that's life. I'm trying to count my blessings and not my trials -- especially knowing that others' trials are more severe than mine.

I have a lot to be thankful for. Which brings to mind a cute story I heard at our broadcast of stake confernce last week. Brother Porter told it. There was a Sunbeam (3-yr old) who was giving the closing prayer in Primary (children's services at church). His Primary teacher was close by to help if needed. The youngster started his prayer with, "Dear Heavenly Father thank you for the letter A. Heavenly Father thank you for the letter B..." The primary teacher was a bit anxious about what she should do but let him continue. "Heavenly Father thank you for the letter C..." and on he went through the entire alphabet. Then the little boy said, "Dear Heavenly Father I thank you for the number 1." Now the poor Primary teacher was panicked, how high could the little guy count? On he went until he reached number 20. Finally the little boy said, "Heavenly Father, thank you for my Primary teacher, who is the only grown up who's ever let me finish my prayer."

So taking my cue from the story -- I'm thankful for big things and little things and even my trials. Because it is through my trials more than my blessings that I know how much my Heavenly Father cares about me and is mindul of my needs and shortcomings. I'm praying for a less intense roller coaster ride this next month (kiddie style would suit me fine!!)

Back to School

Last night we were having scriptures and prayers when Francesca began to cry. It took her a couple of minutes to compose herself enough to tell us why. She said she was going to miss everyone today when we all went back so school and work. She asked for a back-to-school blessing. During the blessing she started to calm down, until Barry said: your mother, your father and your sister love you very much --oh dear, mention of the ones she was going to miss just brought those tears back afresh.
I thought it was very sweet. It just proves the point though -- that kids don't really need planned activities for time spent together -- this week was a mishmash of stuff, cleaning, fun and just hanging out -- they really just want our time. So even though our Spring Break won't go down in the books as one of the most exciting it definitely will down one that was restful, relaxing and with lots of good time spent together.

Our tulips! I love them!

Our Blog, Our Blog, Our Poor Neglected Blog

Well it's spring break this week and we're finally enjoying some sunshiny weather. Easter was a beautiful and chilly day-- it was a really great day at church and then good food with friends and family. We've been enjoying sleeping in (with the exception of Barry) -- and also getting some spring cleaning done. Monday we started in on the attic. It's not finished but we did clear out and organize a bunch. The kids had fun tossing things out the attic window into the back yard. So I'd say we're about half way done with the attic. Today the girls and I did a major kitchen project. We reorganized several cabinets, more sorting and discarding. I think it's a more efficient kitchen now. It's amazing how much stuff you can accumulate. We've never been in one place this long. When you move every couple of years you sort through your stuff every couple of years. So we were totally due for a good sorting.
The week has flown by so quickly. I need it to be a good two weeks off of our regular schedule. We'll just be that much more excited for summer vacation to get here. We've had so many snowdays this year that the girls won't get out until the 12th of June!! That's like losing two weeks of summer vacation if you ask me! But that's the school year here in Delaware.
Our tulips have been out in their full glory -- I'll have to snap a pic tomorrow morning and post it. I love the spring flowers and the trees that flower too! Soon our dogwood will be in bloom. I feel so happy when the first forsythia blooms each year -- hope that winter is over at long last. We hope you all are having a wonderful spring -- bring on the warmth (not the hot and humid -- just the warmth!!) Happy Spring to All!

Quick Update since the Snowstorm

Well the same week that brought us 10 inches of snow gave us our first taste of Spring. We were amazed that on Monday we were searching for gloves, scarves and mittens and Saturday we were in shorts – able to play in the last remains of snow. What a roller coaster! Things cooled off again (unfortunately).

This last week has been a bit of trial for me. Monday was great – Barry has Mondays off so get to run errands and do projects together on Mondays. Not exactly a date night – but it's time together and that is really cool. Late Monday I started getting a cough, and by Tuesday morning I knew I was coming down with something. I was pretty sick the rest of the week. Kind of frustrating to be out of commission again so soon after the whole eye thing. I was also fortunate but frustrated to have the week off from work – sick in bed wasn't how I wanted to spend the week!!

Friday our phone line stopped working – and wasn't repaired until Sunday afternoon. That was annoying but not that big a deal – at least the internet was still working – whoo hoo!

Saturday was a logistics nightmare but a full and fun day. We had a Stake Youth Sports Activity in the morning. It was a good time – lots of fresh air. Victoria, Francesca and I were there for the whole event. It was brisk but not cold out and we all stayed moving enough to stay warm. We had to book it out of there though – and get up to Barry's work to pick him up on the way to Mays Landing, NJ. It was little stressful staying on time, because it was a two hour drive and we couldn't be late for Francesca's first Gymnastics meet.

Francesca was pretty nervous. So nervous in fact, that we wonder if she didn't make herself ill. When we arrived her cheeks were flaming – not unusual of her and we had been outside all morning. But she was also burning up with fever. Since I was just getting over an illness that was mostly aches, pains, fever and chills – I wondered if she had caught it. The coach had some children's Motrin, which she took. It starting cooling her down, but it took a lot of convincing for her to join the team. She participated in three out of the four events – and milked her unique situation a bit. But we count it a victory of sorts – first that she doesn't appear to have a bug, no recurring fever – second, that she did participate and third we are officially over our first time nerves. So we're praying that with this competition under our belt we can have a drama-free meet next time around. By the way, she did pretty well. I'll post some pictures this week.

Some of you might not know this about me – but my maiden name is Kiernan. I love being Irish and Saint Patrick's Day! Have a happy one this Tuesday!!

Another Snowday!!

Well Delaware is a little wimpy when it comes to road conditions and school cancelations. But we like these unexpected mini-vacations - so we say, stay ultra cautious!! These pictures were from yesterday's sledding expedition. Delaware is at sealevel, therefore not very hilly! So we improvise...our sledding hill is at the High School/Little League ball fields. The good thing about not having long steep hills for sledding down, is no long steep hills to climb back up :-) There is an upside!! Francesca didn't want to leave -- and Tori totally wimped out...she was freezing cold in 2.5 seconds (who's the native Alaskan???).

Snow on snow on snow

Delaware winters are generally mild. We get the occasional snow storm -- a few inches that close everything (we love that!). This winter has seemed cold to me – we've been spoiled the last couple of years with especially mild temperatures. I've felt anxious for Spring to arrive – and when our furnace started making a strange noise last week – I was really really anxious for warm weather to get here. Not to worry a little WD-40 in the right spot and Barry fixed the strange noise, but we are worried about how many seasons our dinosaur of a furnace has left in it!

The funny thing is I had just told Francesca the saying, "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb." This morning she's been singing it to her own little melody – it's been prophetic. We had our very own Nor'easter come in Sunday night and this morning it's still snowing. So far we've got over 9 inches (and that's just the ruler stuck in the yard – so I don't know the official measurement – we've had blowing and drifting too). Tori's mad because her school was already scheduled off – but it's worked out great as far as we're concerned because Barry is off on Mondays!! We may go sledding this afternoon – I'll post more pics if we do.

BTW: I love the song – "In the deep mid-winter" my title is inspired by it – some time I'll learn how to rip a track to play with my page – in the mean time if you know song you can hum a few bars!! J

Blind for a Few Days

I wish this were my excuse for not having posted for such a long time. It isn't but. It is the reason I haven't posted this week and has been a rather enlightening experience.

I have always had a problem with my eyes being dry. Last Monday it was my turn to take Tori to Seminary. Like so many mornings I woke up feeling like an eyelash was in my eye. I had made an appointment to have my eyes checked because that sensation happens so often that you'd think I'd have no eyelashes left if it were actually eyelashes. Anyway, I drove to Seminary with my eye just watering, squinting and wishing I'd made Barry do it!! But then it was better after resting it for a half hour or so. Tuesday during the day it was bothering me some but I was functioning, until the afternoon. I have a new job on the internet (www.onpointathome.com) and I needed to work, so having to log off and put a warm compress on my eye was really messing up my day. So I tried to work again after dinner and by then I couldn't even stand the light coming off the computer screen. I asked Barry for a blessing. Within a few minutes he was back and insisting we pay our first visit to the walk-in clinic in town. They were closing in ten minutes and we were only three blocks away. So off we went.

I didn't realize how bad it was until I couldn't open up my eyes to go down the stairs or get into the truck. I started to sob when we arrived at the clinic with all its bright waiting room lights. After Barry filled out the paperwork, I started to get a handle on the pain, finding that if I didn't allow my eyeball to move in its socket it didn't hurt – of course that's with my eyes closed. They took us back to the exam room pretty quickly. When the doc tried to pry my eye open though I nearly came off the seat – I cried HARD. So then he got the little painkiller drops in there – immediate relief – and looked at it with a special light. His question to me was, "how in the world did you scratch your eye like this?!" Of course I had no idea. I don't wear contacts (or glasses) and had tried very hard over the last two days not to rub them. He diagnosed me with a corneal abrasion, prescribed pain killers and antibiotic ointment. We also had to see the eye doctor the next day. I was not looking forward to that. The very thought of having to open my eyes once the wonder drops wore off again was horrifying.

Barry took a personal day on Wednesday. He had to work out all the referral stuff so that our insurance would cover the visits to the doctors. What a headache, and I can't imagine if I'd had to do it while feeling so bad, and they have crazy 24hr deadlines on some of this stuff. The eye doctor was able to see right away that the abrasion happened because of the extreme dryness I experience. My eyelid was gluing itself to my eyeball in my sleep. So when I woke up I actually tore the skin off my eyeball. The good news is that it heals itself after a few days. The bad news is I could do this over and over again. Treating my skin condition (Rosacea) should help since it affects the facial glands. And using an ointment at night will help too.

So how was this experience enlightening? Well essentially from Tuesday night until Friday morning my ability to use my good eye was very limited. I tried covering the right eye to use the left but found my right eye would fight to open and that was extremely painful. I learned how much I depend on my eyes. It seems like a no brainer. But it's like people who've travelled or lived abroad will tell you: you can't appreciate the USA until you've spent some time in a foreign country. When you have days where you can't watch TV, read or use the computer it makes you so aware of the gift of sight. I think I'd adjust to no TV or computer – but not having the ability to read was the most frustrating. I know my house pretty well – but even getting around from my room to my bathroom and back to the bed was difficult. My family really came together to help one another and to help me. Thursday, Tori missed the bus and I couldn't drive her to school. It turned out to be a good thing – she was not feeling well in the afternoon, and I didn't have to be alone during the day.

But probably the biggest lesson for me was learning about relying "On the Arm". We hear about relying on the Arm of the Lord. I've always thought of that as relying on His strength. But now I think it's more about letting Him lead me. When I had to rely on Barry's arm to get to and from everywhere, I found myself stopping, sometimes mid-step because my desire to SEE where I was going was so strong. I trusted him – but I wanted to SEE for myself. And then I realized how often I do that with my Heavenly Father. I trust Him. I know He won't lead me wrong – but so often I just want to SEE for myself. I stop my own progress. I known for a long time that the hymn "Lead Kindly Light" had deep meaning for me. It has more meaning for me today than it did a week ago.

Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor pray'd that thou
Shouldst lead me on.
I loved to choose and see my path; but now,
Lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years.

So long thy pow'r hath blest me, sure it still
Will lead me on
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till
The night is gone.
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!